No December 10th? no December 11th?!
In my defence I have broken my elbow and I did write an awesome parody of 'Twas the night before Christmas' detailing said break on the 9th.
I'd like to say that my creative processes were all worn out after that and it has taken me three days to recover but if I am being honest it is just very difficult (and slow!) to type with one hand!
So December 12th... On the 12th day of Christmas the so-called true love of the writer of the song 'The 12 days of Christmas' gave to them -
Twelve Drummer's Drumming.
 |
Are you allowed to give people to someone as a gift? NO!
I suppose they could be employed to do the task, but how long do they have to do it? forever? surely not.
I suppose one could assume that they have simply been hired for the day but even they would need significant breaks. They cannot drum for 24 hours straight.
Perhaps they are going for some sort of record!
But the record for longest time drumming as part of a team is 3 days, 8 hours and 2 minutes so they might as well not bother with a measly 24 hours.
At least the 12 drummers might go someway to drown out the multitude of pipers piping. Over 2 days the gift-receiver has been gifted 22 pipers piping! Good heavens
The twelfth day marks the 3rd day that 10 Lords-a-leaping have been be added to this insane person's gift list. How did he persuade 30 lords to come and leap for his true love? what sort of blackmail does he have?
What are they leaping over?
Why would anyone want to see this?
IMPORTANT FACT;
Buying people the gift of jumping members of the peerage is not a thing!
 |
| Yes... 'a-leaping!' |
Also given are 9 ladies dancing. This fresh set of 9 female dancers join the 9 ladies dancing given on the 9th day, the 9 given on the 10th and the set of 9 gifted on the 11th. We cannot be sure if these ladies joined the previous sets each time or replaced them when they inevitably died of exhaustion.
In total there were 36 ladies dancing though... Do you imagine them doing the Macarena?
either way I imagine them in some sort of chain gang. Arrested and forced to dance forever for some maniac's idea of reasonable gift giving.
Would you rather spend your day dancing non-stop or milking?
8 maids a milking have been given every day for 5 days now. So there are 40 of them. The fact that they are currently milking suggests that some cows are present! The amount of cows is hard to determine.
Assuming each milker needs at least one udder then that would suggest on each day you'd only need 2 cows! But then each day they'd be 4 udders left over so if they planned ahead of time on the third day they wouldn't need a cow at all!
By day 12 the minimum number cows you'd need (assuming each cow has 6 udders and assuming that you can milk six udders at once (my cow milking knowledge is non-existent!)) is 7, you'd have 2 spare udders at this point so perhaps some of the lords or ladies who fancy a break from leaping or dancing could take an udder and have a cheeky milk! (Favourite phrase of the blog so far!)
Of course most milkers worth their salt would probably own their own cow anyway. So they might all rock up with one, basically along with the 40 maids a milking are somewhere in the region of 7 to 40 cows!
Since the 7th day, the gift of 7 swans a swimming has been given. Hopefully the gift receiver has a large lake available because on the 6th day of this gift it would be hard to house all 42 Swans in a bath.
 |
| I doubt there are 39 more Swans under there! |
That brings us back to the Geese mentioned on Day 6.
All in all by this point the receiver has received;
140 Humans, 34 of which are musicians and a large proportion of whom are members of the peerage.
184 birds, 12 of which are in trees
between 7 and 40 cows
and
40 Gold Rings
All in all, this supposed 'true love' is a psychopath with: no concern for human, avian or bovine welfare; no idea about employment law; a good relationship with a local goldsmith; and a terrible understanding of when a present has gone 'a little over the top.
Happy December 12th
No comments:
Post a Comment