December 6th (A.K.A. A menagerie of Birds and Rings)

The sixth!

On the sixth day of Christmas the overly generous but, let's be honest, terrible at gift giving true love of the singer gave them 6 geese-a-laying.

I do hope the gift receiver in the song had a large plot of lad because by the 6th day they've already received

1 partridge living in a pear tree-
What would one do with a partridge?
Does the partridge eat the pears?
The pears are the only fruitful (pun definitely intended) part of the gift and if the partridge eats them then it would actually be better to receive a pear tree sans partridge.

2 Turtle Doves-

Are they turtles? Are they doves?

'You lookin' at me?'

3 French Hens-
How do French hens differ to English hens?
A french horn looks like this

This doesn't help to understand what a French Hen is but it is true and you can't say i haven't given you any facts.
Assuming that all nationalities of hen lay eggs then this is quite a good gift I suppose. Assuming the plot of land of the gift receiver is sizeable. Otherwise they are going to have a very full and very messy house by day 12, and a significant chance of catching avian flu.

4 Calling birds -
Now I always imagine a bird on the phone. Maybe trying to order some sort of nest furniture from a catalogue. However, you may be interested to know that at different points in this song's history this line has been 4 Calling birds, 4 Canary birds and 4 originally 4 Collie birds, which is an old fashioned term for blackbirds...

Regardless these are useless birds and make a terrible gift!

5 Gold Rings -
What a thoughtful, if not a little overwhelming, gift! doesn't clutter the house up at all. You don't need to deal with the mess it leaves behing in the form of bird poo. Rings are given as gifts. 5 is probably too many, but compared to how terrible this gift giver, or 'True love' is at giving gifts, the minor issue of him giving a whole hands worth of rings in one go can be overlooked.


So there we have it. By the 6th day the grant total of the gifts already given is 3 useful birds, 7 useless birds, 5 gold rings and a tree.

Now I don't know if there is a market for goose eggs. I do know that the geese are currently laying eggs though or 'A-laying'. I assume this means they are at the time of their life where they do lay eggs and not that they are literally laying eggs at the point of being given. The latter option of course poses the important question - How could you POSSIBLY organise this?

Therefore at the end of the 6th day you have 3 useful birds, 6 possibly useful, possibly in the process of laying eggs, birds, 7 useless birds, 5 rings and a tree.

Now, when I listen to the song I assume the receiver gets 1 partridge and one pear tree on the first day and then no more partridges and pear trees after that. However, an argument could be made that on each day they receive all the gifts from previous days again. Which would mean that by the 6th day they'd have received -

6 Geese in the process of laying eggs at that very moment,
10 Gold rings, about 9 more than you need to give on one Christmas,
12 Calling birds, about 12 more than you need to give on one Christmas,
12 French Hens, a good start to an egg farm
10 Turtle doves, no one knows if this is a good thing or not.
6 partridges and 6 pear trees. Does each partridge stick to it's own tree? how territorial are partridges?
Is the receiver going to be dealing with partridge based gang warfare?

A lot of questions and very little answers from this song.

Tune in on the 12th to find out about when the giver gives more birds, before human trafficking everyone from lords to maids and a fair few musicians.

Happy December 6th