December 13th (A.K.A. Santa's lap

What age were you the last time you sat on Santa’s lap?

"Can I sit on your lap"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"because I will be arrested!"

A thought came into my head the other day, whilst watching the Santa Clause with Tim Allen (I imagine some Hollywood producer realised that Claus and clause sounded the same and basically made the film around the title!) Anyway, I don’t know the last time I went to see Father Christmas, I don’t remember when I learned the horrible truth about him either!

If I went to Westfield this evening and got a ticket to see Old St. Nick firstly, would they let me go in, sit on his lap and tell him what I want for Christmas? Secondly, would I want to? Probably not.

In all honesty why is it a thing? Every year millions of parents let their children go and see an old man with a fake beard, sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas.

Of course they are… It is Christmas! It helps maintain the magic that Father Christmas is real, which let’s be honest, helps keep kid’s ‘nice’ all year round due to fear of being on the naughty list!

But why on the lap???

They could just meet Santa, shake his hand and tell him. ?They could just stick to writing a letter.

Of course if you start to question that you start to question most Christmas traditions;

Imagine the first time someone ever tried the old mistletoe trick…

Man: We need to kiss!

Woman: No we don’t

Man: Actually we do points up

Woman: Looks up Why because of the plant on the ceiling.

Man: um… yup

Woman: Oh ok!

Couple kiss… she feels nothing except a bit cross at herself for going along with it. By the next year the tradition has taken off and she entirely blames herself.

Meanwhile the man ends up in prison five years later after flashing a woman under a fig tree and claiming it is ‘a thing’… it does not catch on.

What about the guy who, after a particularly bad year, decided to hang his sock up on the fireplace and told his family it should be filled with gifts because CHRISTMAS.

Happy December 13^th – If you haven’t already bought someone a chocolate orange, eaten it and then had to buy another one… you’re not doing Christmas right.